7 years and counting...

Exactly 7 years ago today I started this crazy little blog (seriously has it really been that long?!).  Feels like only yesterday.  But all the blogs I've published are concrete proof to the contrary.

Looking back to the beginning I can see subtle little differences in my writing and posting style. I would like to think that I've come a long way and that it has improved (I hope you'll all agree).  

The whole experience  has certainly been a learning curve over the years.  But an immensely enjoyable one.    

And to think that it all started due to my little obsession known as tennis.  Over the years it has branched out into so many other areas (but tennis has remained it's main focus).  

What can I say my love for the sport is something I can't seem to stray too far from no matter how hard I try :D.  

For those of you who have visited over the years, thank you.  Whether you've simply stumbled upon it by accident or if you've been a regular reader; I hope I've managed to entertain you in some way, whether it was to inform, educate, or simply make you laugh.

Thank you to all who have taken the time to comment, it has helped me improve and given me motivation and kept things fun all these years later.  

This blog continues to be a labor of love, and a great way for me to share my thoughts, interests, opinions, woes and frustrations.  

Here's to another 7! :).

Meeting a Kiwi

Had some interesting visitors knock on my door today. A couple of missionaries from 2 different countries one from U.S. California and one all the way from New Zealand.

You're probably thinking, big whoop what's so exciting about that, right?.  After all I do live in Canada world's #1 multi-cultural country.

Well, strangely enough in all of the 16 years I've been residing here I have never (until today) met a real life Kiwi before.

I've met plenty of American friends (we are neighbours after all), but for some reason I've never met a New Zealander.

Going through Highschool, and College (where I took a Tourism and Travel course I might add) in the world's most multi-cultural country you'd think I would have come across a few people from there.  But not so much.

I have plenty of online friends who hail from New Zealand, but it's one thing to have a long time pen pal of sorts, and yet another to meet one in the flesh.

Being Roman Catholic, I wasn't really interested in their missionary purpose, but I thoroughly enjoyed the conversion about our respective countries. 

Although it was brief it was quite interesting talking about the differences, and similaraties between each country.  She loved the multi-culturalism of Canada.

I loved the landscapes, and the laid back attitude of the people (which the girl herself pointed out).  Not that New Zealand isn't multi-cultural, far from it actually.

But I guess comparatively Canada beats New Zealand overall in that regard (given Canada's larger population it's understandable).

We also briefly touched on the different pricing structure of Internet access over there.  And I was surprised to learn it's actually a lot more expensive.

I've always thought my plan was awful, well compared to New Zealand I'm paying half the price for half as much bandwidth.

And yes unfortunetly just like Canada, New Zealand also has bandwidth restrictions (sometimes it's enough to make me wanna go back and live in Europe where it is unlimited).

When I asked her how she liked it here, she answered that it's very cold but that she loved it.

Given the fact that she was practically gushing as she said it, it was clear she was very sincere.

I had to chuckle at the weather comment though, yep nothing compares to the cold Canadian winters! :D.  And this year hasn't even been that bad (temperature-wise).

Coming from a country like New Zealand where the worst you get in the winter is lots of random rain, this had to be quite a shocker.  Didn't seem to dampen her enthusiasm for the country itself though.

Why the long ramble on New Zealand you ask?.

Well I'm not sure whether I have ever mentioned this in the four years I've been blogging (I might have a few years back not sure) but I have a bit of fascination with it.

It's the one country I would like to live in aside from Canada.

It all started with a little show called Xena: Warrior Princess, which is where I first took notice of it's beauty and appeal in general.

I did a couple of large study projects throughout Highschool and College which intensified my interest.  The more I learned about it, the more I liked it.

Aside from breathtaking landscapes, it also shares one other major thing with Canada, great health care.

Thus endeth my tangent.

Our new feathered friend named Oscar

So for those who read the blog you may know that I lost my cockatiel just over a week ago (she got a tumor and we had to put her to sleep).

We've all been extremely depressed, and sad, and completely devastated about losing her so suddenly after 3 years. Our home has felt very empty and lonely.

So today we decided (quite impulsively) to go out and get a new type of bird to bring some life back into our household again.

We don't know for sure whether the bird is male, or female as the only way to tell is through a DNA test (which is quite expensive).

So it's a bit of wait and see. But for the time being we are going with he.

As I write this we've only had him for about half a day but he's already brought much laughter and happiness back into our lives.

He's very lively, rambunctious, adventurous and quite the little charmer. And definitely keeps us all on our toes.

I can't wait to see what else he has in store for us all on a daily basis. *goes off to read more about Green Cheek Conures* :).

He's currently much smaller then he appears in the pic (only just over 7 months old)

R.I.P. My lovely cockatiel :(:(

I've been sitting in front of my computer screen trying to decide how to sufficiently express how I feel.

But I don't think there are any words that can properly describe the immense sadness I've been feeling since 6 p.m. this afternoon.

Over the past 3 weeks or so my cockatiel hasn't been herself.

At first we thought it was because she was having trouble laying eggs we bought her some vitamins and calcium. And made a little nest but nothing seemed to be helping.

Her behaviour was confusing because one minute she seemed completely fine the next she was anti-social and lethargic.

But she would still eat and exercise. Finally today I just couldn't stand it anymore and convinced my parents that we should take her to an avian vet.

We put her in a towel while my mom held her in her hands during the car ride. She was very calm and very interested in the world outside.

Once the preliminary questions were over, the vet came in and diagnosed it as tumor (2 actually to make things worse).

My dad had been saying something similar for days, but of course I didn't listen to him because who wants to believe something as horrible as that (even though in the back of my mind I feared he could be right).

But thinking someone might be right and actually having that fear confirmed are two very different things.

The moment he said the word "tumor" I felt like I've been punched in the gut, and my heart dropped into my stomach.

Naturally I just started weeping (and didn't feel embarrassed about it because I knew the vet probably dealt with that on a daily basis).

All the while my bird was on my shoulder as always cuddling up to me. He give me some time to compose myself and then asked me to make the hardest decision of my life.

Whether I wanted to have her be euthanized, or let her die naturally. I weighed the pros the cons but in the end the decision was simple.

I did not want to see her suffering. I wanted to remember her as she always was, lovable, playful, and full of life.

So as my last loving gesture I signed the euthanize order. He give her a pain killer followed by the euthanization drug that would put her to sleep.

She went quickly and painlessly as I held her in my hands.

The vet was quite surprised because things like this don't usually happen with birds as young as her (we've only had her for 3 years).

He said he could try to do an ex-ray because sometimes it can be an egg problem, to fix that would require surgery, and even then it didn't guarantee anything. He seemed much more convinced about the tumor in the end.

Just before he injected the drug into my bird my mom and I pet her and give her kisses letting her know we were there.

Sometimes I wish humans didn't have the ability to love something so much be it animal or human.

But then I think of her and there is just no way a person couldn't love such a sweet creature. It's been over 6 hours now and I still can't believe she's gone.

I'm still expecting her to make noise moving around in her cage as she always did at night, even though logically I know that will never happen again, my heart hasn't yet caught up with my brain.

They say time heals all wounds, well right now I wish there was a way to make the time go faster so I could make the pain and sadness go away.

My feathered friend, thank you for being such a great companion and for providing me with moments of joy I will always cherish.

I will miss you very much, but I will never forget you.

R.I.P. :(

Heading overseas

In mid-March of this year I had mentioned that I was getting ready for a trip back home to visit my family.

Well that day has finally arrived, and my mom and I are heading out to the airport today for a night flight (my first) back to Poland.

It's going to be an interesting experience since it has been twelve years that I last stepped on a plane.

I'm dreading the take-off and landing (once we're in the air I'm hoping to just relax and sleep for most of it).

I'm nervous but I'm also excited and happy to be going on the first real vacation in many years.

I hope I can keep my mom from stressing too much about not being able to smoke for at least 10 hours *lol*. Wish me luck.

I don't know how frequently I'll be able to blog, if at all (since I'll be gone till mid July). It may be very sporadic.

But hopefully I'll be able to write a small update now and then. I should have plenty of things to talk about when I return.

Till then....

Busy

Ok, so I've been a bad blogger again, but unlike all those other times of luckluster updates this time I actually have good reasons.

My mom and I are getting ready to go back home to Poland for the summer in mid-June.

We've been running around like crazy getting our passports ready, getting our tickets, and all the other good stuff one needs to consider when travelling.

I can happily report, that we are now about half-way there. We received our passports last week (my first Canadian Passport after 14 years yay! *lol*).

I was actually surprised by how well the picture turned out usually I look absolutely atrocious on all my goverment documents. Hats off to the photographer.

The week prior we found a great air travel deal. So we are all set. Well, almost now we just need to find some really good luggage.

This year for the first time ever we'll be flying on our national (Polish) airline so that will be interesting. I hear the food is really good (or as good as airplane food could be I guess).

I was debating on whether to go or not because I'm not a good traveller, and I'm really not fond of planes. But after much soul-searching and deliberation I decided the pros outweigh the cons.

I must admit that just the thought of going home after 12 years is quite unsettling.

I think I'm most afraid of that outsider feeling that will undboutedly surface (despite being among family and friends).

Which is ironic because the last time I felt like this was the first time I stepped foot in Canada.

Aside from that apprehension though I am really looking forward to seeing my whole family again. Especially my grandmother.

I miss that feeling of closeness that we always had when I was growing up. And I miss that big family atmosphere that you can only get when you're around one another.

I'm looking forward to seeing my childhood friends again as well.

Although I am also extremely disappointed that the one friend I really wanted to reunite with will not be able to make it.

Actually I don't think disappointed is a strong enough word. Crushed might be more accurate.

The disadvantages of living in different countries really suck sometimes. Guess it's just another reason for me to head over to England one of these days.

And although I will miss many things here at home (my cockatiel, my dad and most importantly the comfort of my own bed).

I'm really looking forward to a month of humid-free, worry-free vacation.

Birthday musings

They say that age is just a number, but it's a number that we after a certain point start to dread.

Why is that?.

Is it the painful reminder of time passed, opportunities lost?.

Isn't it funny how when we are young all we want to do is grow up, but once that actually happens all we want to do is go back to a time when we were younger.

It's a strange conundrum. I often find myself wishing I could go back to those carefee times of my life, but as much fun as those years were, with age comes a wisdom and maturity that I don't think I would want to give up.

So what is it about the number itself that inspires so much anxiety . For some it may be because it's closer to a certain round figure (like the big 3-0 in my case).

It could also be the fact that with a certain age come certain expectations (societal or otherwise) and it's the fear of not meeting them that leads to the age- phobia. Or perhaps it's just the simple fact of getting older I don't know....

I think this Pink song sums it up best.

I hide my pain like the rest of them
That's why I'm always laughing
I'm troubled, I'm brilliant and miserable too

That's why I am so funny
I swallow down all my fears
With a bottle made of silver
I've only been here for 27 years
But already my life is over

And I need to unwind, yes, and I
I need to unwind, yes, and I
Want all the time
To be loved, to unwind

My life is like a fairytale
That nobody believes in
I can't remember anything
Not the people, not the places I've been

Just one more day you can make it, babe
That's what I tell myself
And everything that I love in life
It is killing me, 'cause it's bad for my health

And I need to unwind, yes, and I
I need to unwind, yes, and I
Want all the time
To be loved, to unwind

"Unwind"

And, yes in case you didn't catch on to my not-so-subtle hints today is indeed my Birthday, thus the introspection.

Keeping with the holiday spirit

Here are some videos I took of this year's Santa Clause Parade (at the end of November) in my neighbourhood. Ignore the chatter (it's just me talking with my mom).









You can see more videos from this event on my YouTube Channel.

Thoughts on the Christmas rush

I was having a chat with my mom the other day about our mutual hate of Christmas rush preparations.

Particularly when it comes to decorations (the shopping is more understandable since the beginning of December is when all the best deals are).

But do we really need to put up all our decorations right at the beginning of December? or for many people the end of November?.

I'm all for celebrating, but that's what the 2 weeks are for. If you put up all that stuff really early I find it sort of cheapens the whole experience.

Not to mention that by the time you actually get to Christmas itself you get really sick of everything.

It's the same as when you start hearing all those Christmas Carols on the radio all throughout the holiday month.

You get so sick of them by the end of the first week, you just don't wanna listen to them anymore, well that's how it is for me anyway.

Now I understand that for a lot of people it's probably a case of not having any time for decorating closer to Christmas (with having to run around for gifts and last minute shopping), but still.

So many of us often have our decorations up well after the new year anyway, so again I say why all the rush?.

There's something to be said for enjoying the moment, and milking that moment takes away all the joy.

Fun at the Santa Claus Parade

Today my folks and I went to check out the Santa Claus Parade that we have here every year around this time.

The weather definitely felt like December, I decided to wear a short coat at the advice of my mom, and boy was I sorry.

Half way through the parade I was freezing!. So my mom went back to get a longer coat and draped it over me making the cold just bearable enough to make it to the end (one of the many advantages of having a parade right on your street ).

I don't usually make it a habit to go to things like this anymore, but I made an exception this year because a friend of mine was in the parade.

Knowing someone in the parade somehow made it more fun. I enjoyed watching her walking along and waving to everyone.

It was heartwarming to see all the little kids with excitement on their faces waiting for Santa Claus. Reminded me of myself at that age.

Perhaps due to all the excitement involved they didn't seem to mind the cold as much as the adults.

Here are some photos I took from the event, which was a real challenge since in order to take them, I couldn't wear my gloves.

But in the end I guess it was worth it (the pics turned out pretty well, thanks to a nice gentleman who let me stand right near the curb of the side walk).

I get cold just looking at these poor guys

No parade can be complete without a random giant cake *lol*

One of many musical marching bands I love these uniforms :)

14 years ago today.....

I arrived in Canada, I was thirteen years old. Hard to believe certainly doesn't feel that long, guess it's true what they say time really does fly.

I actually remember the weather being exactly the same as it is today a beautiful warm October day.

Looking back on everything I've done since coming to Canada, all the hardships with completing High School and College, learning a new language, new cultures, meeting life long friends.

It gives me an incredible feeling of accomplishment and pride and somehow makes it all worthwhile.

As I'm sitting here writing this I'm sipping on a glass of red wine, celebrating all the highs and lows of the past 14 years. May the next 14 be just as rewarding.

The day I've been dreading has arrived......

Well as they say all good things must come to an end, such was the case today when we took my niece and sister back to the airport :( .

Where did the summer go?, seems like only yesterday we were picking them up at the airport.

My niece was clearly happy to be going home, understandably so since all her friends are in Poland. She was definitely not looking forward to school though, and I can't say I blame her.

My sister on the other hand really didn't want to go, whether it was the long journey itself or wanting to stay I'm not sure, maybe a bit of both.

Once again the ride to the airport was very quiet, I did most of the chatting to break everyone out of their thoughts.

When we got to baggage check-in we all knew goodbye was inevitable, so as we got to the gate we all hugged each other one last time.

I always find that last moment to be the hardest, it's so difficult to walk away when your heart is so heavy with the knowledge that it'll probably be a while before you see each other again.

This whole day has been very hectic and full of nervous energy with both of them packing, making sure they have everything in all the rush they always seem to forget something anyway. This time was no exception *lol*.

Thankfully it wasn't anything vital. The hustle and bustle of this afternoon was such a contrast to the quiet that awaited us when we got home.

I suspect it'll be a good couple of weeks before I get used to all the quiet and to being alone all day again. It is definitely gonna be weird.

At the time I write this they've barely been gone 2 hours, but I already miss them.

As we were leaving the parking lot en route to the airport, the parental units started to bicker as usual, I jokingly turned to my sister and told her "great now I'm going to be blamed for everything again".

And we had a good laugh, but I think we were both aware that I was only half kidding. I loved having the parental units attention diverted from me.

Now that they're gone it'll be same old same old with me at the centre again.

Oh well, c'est la vie I guess. Hopefully it won't be too long before we're all reunited again, maybe even as soon as next year *fingers crossed*.

Bon Voyage

A bittersweet moment with my sis and her husband

The whole family (once again sans mom) outside the airport just before saying goodbye

They always say that sorry is the hardest word (there's even a song about it) but I think goodbye ranks right up too.

I hate having to say goodbye doesn't matter whether it's a friend or family member. It makes things so much more difficult of course if it is a family member.

We drove my brother-in-law back to the airport yesterday (he's heading home to Poland after staying with us in Canada on vacation the last couple of weeks).

The ride to the airport was horrendous, not so much due to the traffic on the road (although that didn't help), but because the car was so awkwardly quiet.

All of us were off in our own little world, with thoughts racing a mile a minute.

The closer we got to the airport the more quiet things became. As we neared baggage check in and the security area, it became more and more difficult to hold in the tears.

My dad and I managed to rein in our emotions (although I did start to break-down as we started to hug). It was especially tough with both my niece and sister looking teary.

I always find the hardest part is walking away from the airport, knowing that every step you take, gets you further and further away from the person who's leaving.

What softened the blow this time was the knowledge that my niece and sister were not the ones leaving yet.

It also made me realize that as difficult as this goodbye had been, saying goodbye to them will be a hundred times worse.

But for the time being I'm going to stop thinking such gloomy thoughts and enjoy the time we have.

Family festivities

Well, the family and I (sans mom who was sick) went out to celebrate Canada's Birthday yesterday.

Met up with a friend I haven't seen in a while, fun was had by all. Here's a few pics of the happy family.


We took some pics of the fireworks show that was going on as well (for which we waited an eternity!, ok 15 extra minutes but still).

Unfortunately I haven't yet figured out the camera setting for taking good night photos, so those didn't turn out too well.

Luckily, we were able to make a video instead, enjoy;-).

A family affair

I've been waiting to blog about this for a few months now, but had to hold off until all the details were worked out and finalized. Now that they have I can finally say it.

Tomorrow, (well technically 12 hours from now) I will be heading off to Pearson International Airport and picking up my sister, niece and brother-in-law who are coming over from Poland for a visit. To say that I'm excited would be an understatement.

Ecstatic would be more appropriate.

I haven't seen my niece since she was 8 so at least 7 years, my brother-in-law for almost twice as long and my sister at least 4.

I'm sure I'll be a complete emotional wreck come tomorrow afternoon.

It'll also be interesting to see how the baby of our household aka our cockatiel Cuba will handle having 3 new people in the house.

But I'll keep this short for once lol, have to get up early so I'm off to hit the hay. Updates may be slim the next couple of weeks since I'll be busy doing quite a bit of sightseeing, but we'll see.

Pondering parental methods

Recent family discussions have prompted me to think about this a lot lately. Now before I say anything further on the subject I am not currently a parent and this is completely based on my personal opinions.

I often think about how I would handle certain situations with my kids when and if I decide to have any that is (my mind is not quite made up on the matter, all I know is that I'm definitely not in a hurry).

I think part of my hesitation has to do with the way kids are these days.

They are much more out-spoken which can both be good and bad. On the one hand it's good to speak your mind early on (saves you on therapy later on). But on the other hand there's the whole respecting your elders argument.

How do you speak your mind and stand up for yourself without offending anyone and sounding out of line to your parents?. I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to that.

There's a lot of factors that could be weighed into it whether it's, the environment and the people you surround yourself with, the way you were raised, the personality of the parent or simply the generational gap and culture.

In the end though I believe it all comes down to communication and the involvement of the parent. Those two elements are especially key when it comes to teenagers.

One of the other points of the family discussion was punishment methods mainly loss of possessions due to perceived bad behaviour.

Personally I'm really not a fan of this method, it's effective but only when used in moderation. If it's used everytime, it stops being a threat and it loses its punch because it is expected.

And eventually it leads to resentment on the part of the child. Now I have no way of knowing what kind of parent I will become (again if at all), but I know one thing for sure, I would try my best to have a more balanced approach, be firm but still allow self expression. Of course that's easier said then done, but I think it'll be much more effective in the end.

Thus endeth my lesson in psychology, hope you enjoyed it 'cause it doesn't happen often lol.

It's been fun

Well, my YMCA job workshop finally came to an end this week. It's funny how when you first start out something the days just drag on and on, but as you get towards the end the days just fly by.

It's also interesting how quickly something can become routine even if you don't like it much at first.

I never thought I would say this, but I'm going to miss it, not so much the YMCA or the activities just the people I was with.

It turned out to be enjoyable after all, even if I don't get anything out of it (well except for the cash that is;).

I have to make a couple of more trips over there in the next couple of weeks to talk to the facilitator on a one to one basis, so we'll see what happens with that.

The one thing I definitely won't miss is having to get up at 7 am. In fact I'm looking forward to some well deserved rest over the next couple of days. Especially since it looks like lots of April showers are on the way.

Hopefully after the rain we will actually get some sun and it will finally feel like spring.

It's Easter time again

Glitter Graphics - GlitterLive.com

To all who celebrate it, have a good one:).

More fun at the Y

I am now more then halfway through the job workshop, the weeks went by surprisingly fast actually. All I can say is that it's been interesting and very very exhausting, hence my lack of updates lately.

So, what have I been up to the past week?. Well, I've done more tests and group activities in the past two weeks then in high school and College combined lol. Since I've never been a fan of either that is the one aspect I definitely won't miss.

The experience itself has been a cluster ranging from fun, to frustrating, to down right boring lol. And to be honest I still don't feel any clearer on the whole choosing a career direction thing. Guess we'll see if that changes in the last week.

Also I have to say this even though I've mentioned it in a post last week, I am SO over the high school attitudes and complete lack of maturity.

This whole thing just reinforced why I liked being in College so much more, everyone there was on the same level.

Having said all that, I have made some good friends, with whom I'm really hoping to keep in touch.

Tomorrow we are learning about life balance and health. As part of that we will be making a trip to the gym (just when I thought all my high school nightmares were behind me LOL).

I am planning to enjoy the hell out of this weekend, especially since we will no doubt be overwhelmed with all the things we have left to do next week.

Fun at the YMCA

Well, I survived my first day of the YMCA job workshop, but boy it was tough. Mainly the getting up early part.

I haven't had to get up anywhere past noon in a while, so it was quite a shock to my system. LOL

Losing an hour of sleep while switching to daylight savings certainly didn't help the adjustment.

As for the activities themselves, they were pretty much identical to ones I've done in high school, which included group teamwork exercises and personality/interest tests.

Basically pretty yawn-worthy stuff. Hoping it gets better later on, or staying awake is gonna be an issue lol.

Doing the True Colours test (for the 100th time!) took me right back to high school. Let's just say I'm SO glad those days are far behind me.

Finding my way has also been challenging, since I'm terrible at directions and usually have to go to the same place a couple of times before I remember all the correct bus stops. I'm sure by the end of the week I'll have things figured out.

As the day went on the group got bigger and bigger, to the point where I think we'll now be split into 2 separate ones not quite sure what that means yet.

That will all be made clear tomorrow. What else?, well I've met some nice people, the next 3 weeks are going to be an experience.

Whether that experience will be good or bad, remains to be seen.