Disney Parody

Funniest thing I've seen in a while. :D

Jimmy Fallon imitates Roger Federer

LOL Apparently Jimmy and I think along the same lines when it comes to Andy Murray winning a slam.  At times his speech is eerily similar to Roger's.

Funny Church signs

Strange sex laws

*LOL*

My friend Emily found this at the International Centre in Ontario, Canada (thanks for allowing me to share this Em ;).

One of these things is not like the other

Source: buzzfeed.com via Neatomara

Kids say the funniest things

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________ _________ _________ ______
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:
K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _____
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________ _________ _________ ____
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ _________ _________ _________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet.'
____________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
____________ _________ _________ ________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ _________ _________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
____________ _________ _________ _____
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
____________ _________ _________ ____

For your amusement

IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIREE'S MIND WANDERING...

..I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to
feed it.

...I had amnesia once -- or twice.

...I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

...Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

...All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

...If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses
sidesaddle.

...What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

...They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.

...Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

...Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

...One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

...My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

...I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

...The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

...How can there be self-help "groups"?

...If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

...Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.

...Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Funny things people say

Since this is the last day of February and we're still experiencing cold winter weather (complete with snow!) I thought we could all use something to laugh at.


The routine is familiar: when a student is late or absent from school, a letter from the parents must be supplied for the absence to be excused.

Sometimes such letters suggest that the parents were excused from school too many times in their own youth.

• "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

• "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

• "Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

• "Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."

• "Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

• "John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."

• "Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."

• "Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins."

• "Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."

• "Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

• "Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

• "Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."

• "Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

• "Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

• "Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."

• "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."

• "Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."

• "Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

• "Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."

• "Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

• "Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."

Rinkworks.com

Internet addiction funny and true

Found these on the Xena Online Community Board (where I spend way too much time lol) and I just couldn't resist sharing them here.

"Casual Friday" is my favourite LOL.

More laugh inducing photos