While many parents of tennis players have the dubious reputation of using any means available to force their children to succeed and wanting to control every aspect of their development, Lynette and her husband Robert are living proof that there is another way.
Today, they are happy to pass on their knowledge and experiences with the most successful player in the history of tennis.
What role do the parents of promising tennis talents play? This topic is once again a particularly current one in Switzerland, following Belinda Bencic's victories in Paris and Wimbledon this summer, making her the top junior player in the world.
Just like Martina Hingis before her, the 16-year-old has the close support of one parent: As her coach and manager, her father Ivan is always at her side.
The family from Uzwil is taking a very different route than the one Lynette and Robert Federer took with their son Roger in the '90s. Their recipe for success was to trust in him and his coaches coupled with unqualified support, a good dose of control, and knowing when to intervene when necessary.
Support, Discipline, and Control
"I think that we took an approach that was not overly emotional. We didn't have utopian ambitions, and we tried to keep our expectations realistic," says Robert Federer looking back on the early days of his son's tennis career. "Even though many described him as an extraordinary talent, we did not view him as having already reached the top of Mount Everest. Most of all, we wanted to support him. But we were demanding, too, and expected discipline and commitment." They placed a lot of trust in young Roger from the start. In the early days, for example, he rode his bicycle from Münchenstein to Basel to the Old Boys Tennis Club. "We let him live his life," says the father. "Back then, he and his friends were allowed to play squash, basketball, soccer, tennis, table tennis..." But even Roger had rules to follow. It did not go over well with his parents, for instance, if he wanted to skip a tennis training session. They were also not willing to put up with his temper, which got the better of him at times. The father recalls: "Once when he was very young and misbehaving quite badly during training at Ciba, I handed him a two-franc coin and said: 'You know where the tram is. You can find your own way home."
"Children have to put their hearts and souls into it"
At a panel discussion on parents and tennis organized in Lausanne by Swiss Tennis during to the national junior championships in July, Lynette Federer emphasized how important it was that the initiative to play high-performance sports came from the children themselves. "The children have to put their hearts and souls into it. They cannot be forced to do it, not by the mother, the father, the school, or the coach." This was definitely the case for Roger. Barely 14 years old, it was Roger himself who decided to attend the Tennis/Etudes development program in Ecublens. "We had many discussions, of course, and showed him possible paths," says the father. "But Roger grasped early on what it would take to get to the top." Roger's mother recalls that because of homesickness, the initial difficulties with the French language, and the unfamiliar surroundings, the first three months in the training center were "hell on earth" for the 14-year-old boy. "But he saw it through because he knew what he was doing it all for."
A Matter of Trust
The fact that Roger's parents succeeded in striking the right balance between distance, involvement, trust, and control had a lot to do with intuition. "We let him decide and then we stood behind him," says the father. Roger recalls that he had always had close contact with his parents, even though he left Münchenstein at the age of 14."But it was also important for them to give me space and to trust my coaches. Parents need distance from the coaches," the 17-time grand slam winner points out. He is aware that he was able to grow up normally and to get the freedom that he needed. "But my parents still kept an eye on everything." His mother Lynette says that she visited only three times in the two years he spent in Ecublens, "but Robbie stopped by regularly on his business trips, talked to the coaches, and the educational advisors." For the most part, she only saw her son on the weekends or at tournaments. "We never challenged his coaches or discussed much with them," the father confirms. "In contrast to other families, we almost never replaced anyone. The coaches have to be able to work in peace. But we probably were lucky in that Roger always had access to good people."
Learning Sports and Teamwork
Similar to Martina Hingis whose supporting program used to include boxing in addition to riding and in-line skating, Federer's parents considered it important that he grow up playing multiple sports. "Back then, he tried all sports and almost always had a ball with him, even in the sandbox," the mother said. The former field hockey player considers her son's experiences playing soccer – a sport he gave up with a heavy heart at age 12 for tennis – to be especially valuable. "I was very pleased that he played soccer, too. Team sports are extremely important; children learn to work toward a common goal and to learn good sportsmanship. That had a big impact on him." How important team spirit is to him is clear even today in the Davis Cup.
Setting Realistic and Flexible Goals
Although they quickly recognized their son's talent, Federer's parents remained cautious in setting goals – well aware of everything that can go wrong on the way to becoming a high-performance athlete. "When he went to Ecublens, we said that we would give him two years from then," the father recollects. "He was still among the top 5 or top 10 in Europe at age 16. Then we said, come on, just two more years. You can always go back to school at 18 and study something else." When he became the best junior in the world at 17, they realized: "Now we can let him take the leap; it's no longer such a huge risk."
Walking a Financial Tightrope
Like most tennis parents, the Federers not only had to invest a great deal of their free time in the development of their child's sports skills, but also significant financial resources. "At that time, we spent around 30,000 Swiss francs per year for him ourselves," Robert Federer recalls, although he is aware that the costs have increased considerably since that time. His wife was able to work more at Ciba in order to meet these increased financial needs. However, the financial issue never became a serious problem, since their son quickly became a breakout star, first as the number 1 junior player at age 17, and then ranking among the top 100 in the world at 18, earning more than 200,000 dollars in prize money in that season. Without a doubt – in addition to everything that they did right – the Federers were lucky, too. Because for every player who makes it, there are hundreds, maybe thousands around the world who fall by the wayside somewhere on the path to the same goal.
credit-suisse.com
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