I got the funnies:)

I read these jokes on a Xena Message Board I belong to and found them so funny I just had to share, so enjoy;).


1.) A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his test. "I have some bad news and some worse news", says the doctor. "The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live."

"Oh no", says the patient. "What could be worse than that?"
The doctor answers, "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."


2.) A wife is reading a magazine article and says to her husband, "That's interesting. It says here that women use 3,000 words a day, but men only use 1,500." And then she added, "It's probably because we have to repeat everything."
The husband says, "What?"

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Signed: Desperate Wife

---------- REPLY ---------

Dear Troubled User:

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files.

DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.

Best of luck,

Tech Support